In Case Of Emergency

Originally uploaded by J. Brooks

I spoke with Dan after class about why I have “saved by the bell moments”. I’m enjoying myself, yet at the same time, something turns over and suddenly I am ready to be done. I call this a “saved by the bell moment”.

I have them in other classes as well, but I was surprised to have them in cello class. After class, Dan and I spoke about it. I really wanted to understand what triggers it. They tend to happen toward the end of class when I’m a bit tired and not sure I’m up for more challenges. Emily over at StarkRavingCello wrote about sitting in the fire, and I suspect something similar is happening to me.

Still, it was more of a feeling, like some switch just went off. One minute, I’m enjoying my lesson and appreciating getting the technique I need to work through a passage. The next instant, it’s like “OK, I’m ready to go now, we’re done here”. I say to myself that I just want to try it at home not at lesson. But that’s a self-deception. When I get home, I find I’m just as reluctant to face whatever-it-is.

This is often precipitated by having the same problem twice in a row. The “I’ll never get this” alarm goes off.

I strongly suspect we’ll be able to work through it next time it happens now that it has been properly identified. I’d be interested to see if I can also enter into the moment instead of backing away next time it happens in a non-cello context.